Steel Beam is to Phallus…
February 7, 2008, 10:34 pm
Filed under: daily, Pittsburgh | Tags: , , ,

I went apartment hunting and I only took one picture:
I’m sorry what? Cock and balls? Shirtless, ripply muscled steel worker? Two stories tall?
I know we’re all about the steelworker thing here, but REALLY?

I have no idea where that is, because it was dark and we were downtown and I don’t really understand downtown. It’s all pointy and shit. And 5th ave intersects with 6th ave? I’m from Eastern PA, where cities are grids. Numbered streets go one direction, named streets intersect them. NEVER SHALL A NUMBER TOUCH ANOTHER NUMBER. Tis unnatural, that it is.


ROOMMATE’s girlfriend and I went to check this place out because the boys had class. It is in a municipality just outside the city, so YAY! It was quiet, and clean and well ordered, and oh… IT ISN’T OAKLAND. I am so sick of Oakland. Oakland is dirty, loud, gross, filled with fake homeless people who probably have a better income than I do, and oh it’s gross. There are college students. Have you ever been around large quantities of college students? THEY ARE DIRTY AND LOUD. Am tired of them.

So yes, apartment was very nice. 3 bedrooms, which around here actually means 2 bedrooms and a glorified closet. I live in a glorified closet now. My bed is as long as my room is, and it blocks the closet. HOWEVER, it is just ROOMMATE!, Bear and I, so the two real bedrooms are all that will actually get slept in (TEE HEE). I am still rooting for a baby polar bear. The glorified closet will probably house a desk for me to do homework and the extraneous crap we have accumulated. Specifically, my large quantities of yarn (IT BREEDS.) and ROOMMATE!’s amazing DVD collection. OH BOY. STUFF OUT OF LIVING SPACE WEEE!

There was also a living room and a dining room AND A KITCHEN. The kitchen is smaller than my current one, but we also have a dining room so whatever. There’s more counterspace and cabinet space but no dishwasher (wah). I love the rest of it too much. This will just be an opportunity to encourage regular cleaning of dishes and constant neatness. YES, ROOMMATE AND BOYFRIEND, YES?

One of the bedrooms has a WALK IN CLOSET. OH YES BABY. There is also a deck and a back yard! It is one block from the T so easy commute to grad school for moi. I AM SO EXCITED. Everybody cross your fingers and say your rosaries for us being accepted.

Luckily, my current landlady apparently likes me? A lot? Is sad we are leaving and taking my anal-retentive ass with me? So luckily I will get a glowing review from her, so yay.

Also, you know you have a problem when even your LANDLADY makes fun of you for being anal retentive.

LANDLADY: Yes, you’ve always paid early and the place has been spotless whenever I’ve been there so of course I’ll give you a good recommendation! (*Do other people NOT clean obsessively when they know their landladies will be stopping by for something? Is that just me? Because the rest of you are weird, then.*)
ME: Yea, I’m a little anal retentive.
LANDLADY: HA! A little, you think? HA HA! HA!

Yea, I pouted a little. Whatever. BLAME MAMA. ALL HER FAULT. Besides, it could be worse than anal-retentive. I could be anal expulsive. I’m just sayin’.