Are you ready for my birthday?
April 11, 2008, 12:50 pm
Filed under: daily | Tags: , , ,

Today, someone found my blog by searching, “skinny hairy man”. SUCCESS! YOU HAVE FOUND ONE. His name is Bear. He is skinny as a rail, with so much leg hair that it looks like has pants on ALL THE TIME!

However, he is mine. You may not have him. My skinny hairy man. I’m glad we cleared that up.

My birthday is in 2 days. I will be 22. I already got my birthday presents of consequence. My mom bought me mah pearls on the cruise. It’s not like she could sneakily buy them and give them to me later. The cruise was a month ago, and I was ready to buy them for myself, credit card in hand and everything when she swooped in all, “I’ll buy them. They’ll be your birthday present.” FINE. BUY ME JEWELRY A MONTH BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY. SEE IF I CARE. I’ll wear them every day except the days I forget jewelry in RETALIATION.

Bear gave me my birthday present over a month ago, also, when he got back from New Orleans (Nwarlins). I told him a while ago that the only piece of jewelry I am craving (besides a big rock, but that doesn’t count) is a big amber pendant. With a bug in it. I know, peculiar, but that’s me. He got really excited about it, too. He knows I love amber in general (who DOESN’T want a chunk of really old tree sap?!), so he’s been keeping an eye out for amber for me. The bug will probably come later, like after he’s employed full time? With money? And stuff? But I’ll accept amber in the meantime. He found some beautiful silver and amber dangly earrings for me in a shop down there, and was SO VERY EXCITED that he COULD NOT CONTAIN HIS EXCITEMENT UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY BECAUSE IT WAS SO VERY FAR AWAY. So, FINE. Give me jewelry a month early! SEE IF I CARE.

He is going to give me a card on Sunday, though. Just because. And my mom sent me two batches of homemade oatmeal cookies with a card. Because I asked nicely. They are tasty, and no you can’t have any.

Also, my favorite Andrea is visiting from SYRACUSE this weekend. There are so many ways that I am excited about that. We’re going to look at apartments for her when she moves here this summer. YAY BEST FRIEND IN SAME CITY. How convenient. She is also bringing cheesecake. For mah birfday. But it is up in the air whether it will be allowed on the plane (HAHA punny), so we’ll see. I will understand if her birthday baked goods do not make it to Pittsburgh, I GUESS. I am just so happy she is visiting.

Hopefully, Sunday won’t be rainy/snow like it looks like it might be. WEATHER GODS. DO NOT DISAPPOINT ME.



How To Buy A Rock
January 30, 2008, 7:25 pm
Filed under: daily | Tags: , , ,

Did you know that amazon.com sells engagement rings? Like, they really do. Look: not only can you buy an engagement ring, but you can create your own. Who knew? I sure didn’t. They actually seem to be pretty nice.

Example 1: I created this one on Amazon.
Cost: $5868.
Carat: 1.03
Cut: very good (2nd highest)
Clarity: VS1 (only visible infractions with 10X microscope)
Color: D (highest).
The side diamonds are a total 2/5 carat. 14K gold setting, size 6.

Example 2: I created this on Zales.com.
Cost: $9954.42.
Carat: 1.01
Cut: Not option
Clarity: VS1
Color: D.
Side diamonds are total 1/2 carat (1/10 of a carat more than example 1.)
14K gold setting, size 6.

To round, that is a FOUR THOUSAND DOLLAR DIFFERENCE, when the only visible difference is 1/10th of a carat in the side diamonds. Is a tenth of a carat worth FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS?

No, ladies and gentlemen, the answer is no. One Tenth Of A Carat Is Not Worth FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS.

HAVE I EMPHASIZED FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS ENOUGH YET?
This is why I love, adore, want to do filthy, filthy things to, admire and support amazon.com. They have gone from cheap books (something I am a huge proponent of) to this. They sell everything. They recently started endless.com, where I bought THESE for just over $18. They arrived today. They are on my feet. I am pleased. I would only wear maryjane flats if it was reasonable in the crazy winter weather that happens in Pittsburgh. I would forsake all other clothing before maryjanes if I had to. You get that? I would walk around naked as long as I could still have these on my feet. I AM THAT SICK.

Next up? You’ll be able to buy a wife at Amazon.com. Buy a wife and an engagement ring, get free shipping and gift wrap!

So, if that isn’t a shameless plug for Amazon.com, I don’t know what is. However, I would not have discovered the engagement rings on amazon.com if not for this blog entry as referenced in this blog entry as referenced in one of my favorite blogs, The Simple Dollar. Hat tip that!

*Note: depending on who your girlfriend is, and how attached she is to brand names and the “stigma” that comes from buying things “on the cheap”, you might want to avoid mentioning amazon.com until after you have the wedding band firmly on that finger. However, if she is anything like me (German to a fault, ipso facto opposed to spending money altogether), that’s a surefire way to get her to say yes AND in the sack. I would be all “YOU SAVED FOUR THOUSAND BUCKS?!?! KICK ASS! LETS GO OPEN A RothIRA, BABY!” Or something equally nerdy and foreward-thinking. You may have noticed that I am a peculiar 21 year old.

Bear? I love you. And this was not a shameless hint at all.