Colonic Jesus
February 22, 2008, 2:02 pm
Filed under: Pittsburgh | Tags: , , ,

Oh, I just keep asking for it, don’t I? COLON CLEANSING COLON CLEANSING. There. Even more reasons for Google to bring me up whenever people search for COLON CLEANSING, and apparently they do that a lot.

Today, my personal favorite search that brought a reader to this site was “colonic Jesus”. Colonic Jesus? Really? I’m fascinated! Is this Jesus in the form of a colonic? Anal suppository Eucharist? I’m going to hell for sure now. Or maybe it’s a colonic FOR Jesus. Wouldn’t want him getting all clogged up, now would we. Maybe it’s a holy colonic, a type of penance. Say 3 hail marys and get a colonic Jesus! Yup, going straight to hell. No doubt about it.

Somebody else found me by searching for baby polar bears. Awww. Isn’t that cute? Just for that reader, here is a baby polar bear:


And another:


That’s Knut the Bear. How can you NOT love that? I just want to bury my face in his neck and allow him to remove my nose. I search for baby polar bears, too, dear reader, all the time.

Also? Pittsburgh? Go to hell. I hate this weather. There is nothing worse than shoveling HEAVY WET SNOW. I now have to eat more just to make up for that completely unnecessary exercise. GROSS. I get it. It’s winter. Now go to hell.

Speaking of going to hell… I want that power. “You, over there, the child molestor! DAMN YOU TO HELL!”

If you want to see something that really will melt your heart, here’s some more baby polar bears (Knut, specifically).

Have a good weekend, Pittsburgh. I’m going slightly east to play with babies.