Pet Peeve Monday
July 28, 2008, 8:36 am
Filed under: daily | Tags:

I am peevish today. Perhaps it is because I am so close to the end of the semester and I really want to have 3 weeks off.

Perhaps I am PMS-ing.

Perhaps I am just in a foul mood.

I have a general pet peeve in the form of people who have terrible grammar. I hate when people say “irregardless”. It makes my skin not only crawl, but fall off and die.

I hate it even more when people pretend that they have excellent grammar by screwing up ‘well’ and ‘good’. I am going to give you all a lesson.

Example 1:

Katrina: How are you doing today?

Dan: I am doing well.

Example 2:

Katrina: How are you today?

Dan: I am good.

Example 3:

Katrina: How are you doing today?

Dan: I am doing good.

Example 4:

Katrina: How are you today?

Dan: I am well.

Which of those examples are correct? If you said 1 and 2, you get a cookie.

If you said 3 or 4, you don’t get a cookie.

Here’s why. Well is an adverb. Adverbs describe verbs. Good is an adjective. Adjectives describe nouns.

So, if you say “I am” you are describing yourself. You are a noun, oddly enough! When you describe yourself, you want to use an adjective. So, you use ‘good’. I am good is the correct sentence.

If you are talking about how you are doing, you are talking about an action, or a verb, not yourself. You want to use an adverb to describe that. So, you use ‘well’. I am doing well is the correct sentence.

Saying ‘I am well’ just makes me think you are trying to impress me with your use of well instead of good, because everyone thinks good is automatically wrong. It’s right in that context, so I immediately judge you.

Saying ‘I am doing good’ just makes me think you don’t understand grammar. I immediately judge you.

Ok, class dismissed. Go out and use grammar effectively!