Because I Miss The Bahamas
March 19, 2008, 8:14 am
Filed under: daily | Tags: , , ,

Last Thursday, we were in Freeport, Grand Bahama. We took a van/cab thing to the resort-y area of the island, and shared it with a group of extremely Jewish people from Long Island (Lawn Guy Land). I love the Jews, we all know that. And I really love Jews from Lawn Guy Land. Mostly because of this conversation. Feel free to read it in your best Lawn Guy Land accent.

Lady 1: My son, he bought a new car.

Lady 2: Oh? What kind of car?

Lady 1: It’s really nice, it’s a hon-dee, SUV type thing.

Lady 2: A Hon-dee? I like Hon-dees. Is it the CRV?

Inner Monologue: What the crap is a Hon-dee?

Lady 1: No, it was some city. The Los Angeles? No, no, it was the Sante Fe!

Lady 2: Sante Fe? I really like the Sante Fe! But it’s not a Hon-dee. That’s the other kind of Asian car…

Inner Monologue: What the hell are these nuts talking about? Are they trying to say Hyundai?

Lady 2: It’s the Hi-Yun-Dee! Haha! You don’t know how to pronounce it, I thought you were talking about HONDA! Hi-Yun-Dee, dear, Hi-Yun-Dee.

Inner Monologue: HYUNDAI. IT’S PRONOUNCED HUN-DAY.

Lady 1: Hi-Yun-Dee? No, I think it’s pronounced Hon-dee.

Inner Monologue: HUN-DAY. HUN-DAY. HUN. DAY.



I Be Back, Mon
March 15, 2008, 10:19 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: ,

I am back from The Cruise O’ The Bahamas.

Did you know that the Bahamas are really close to Florida? I didn’t. I had some odd misconception that they were off in the netherlands to the East of the USA.

Idon’t know. I also sometimes think that Arkansas is in the West. And that New York is nowhere near New England. Again, I don’t know. I have the general placement of things correct, but the proportions are off. Or something.

Regardless! Bahamas! Close to Florida! Oh, and the sun? it still burns, even when it is shining through windy air. The wind doesn’t push it away from you. I KNOW THAT KNOW, THANKS. A week of a sun burn from my ass to my ankles.

These are the things it hurt to do:

1. Stand up.

2. Sit down.

3. Get out of bed.

4. Get into bed.

5. Remove pants.

6. Put on pants.

7. Walk.

8. Stand still.

9. Breathe.

10. Go potty.

Yea. Stupid stupid stupid, I know. I should be ashamed of myself. I KNOW BETTER. I am fair skinned to a fault. STUPID. I deserved every minute of the agony. Oh well. It was the warm! and the pretty beach! And the sun! IT WAS FLORIDA, WHAT ELSE DO YOU EXPECT.

Also? I gained weight. Being on a cruise is basically code for EAT CONSTANTLY. There were also a lot of naps.

And some good times with Mama. Some odd conversations. Stuff to think about. Back to Pittsburgh tomorrow. Tired now.