Follow-up
January 31, 2008, 6:33 pm
Filed under: daily | Tags: ,

They also sell milk on Amazon.com.

I have no words for this.



How To Buy A Rock
January 30, 2008, 7:25 pm
Filed under: daily | Tags: , , ,

Did you know that amazon.com sells engagement rings? Like, they really do. Look: not only can you buy an engagement ring, but you can create your own. Who knew? I sure didn’t. They actually seem to be pretty nice.

Example 1: I created this one on Amazon.
Cost: $5868.
Carat: 1.03
Cut: very good (2nd highest)
Clarity: VS1 (only visible infractions with 10X microscope)
Color: D (highest).
The side diamonds are a total 2/5 carat. 14K gold setting, size 6.

Example 2: I created this on Zales.com.
Cost: $9954.42.
Carat: 1.01
Cut: Not option
Clarity: VS1
Color: D.
Side diamonds are total 1/2 carat (1/10 of a carat more than example 1.)
14K gold setting, size 6.

To round, that is a FOUR THOUSAND DOLLAR DIFFERENCE, when the only visible difference is 1/10th of a carat in the side diamonds. Is a tenth of a carat worth FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS?

No, ladies and gentlemen, the answer is no. One Tenth Of A Carat Is Not Worth FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS.

HAVE I EMPHASIZED FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS ENOUGH YET?
This is why I love, adore, want to do filthy, filthy things to, admire and support amazon.com. They have gone from cheap books (something I am a huge proponent of) to this. They sell everything. They recently started endless.com, where I bought THESE for just over $18. They arrived today. They are on my feet. I am pleased. I would only wear maryjane flats if it was reasonable in the crazy winter weather that happens in Pittsburgh. I would forsake all other clothing before maryjanes if I had to. You get that? I would walk around naked as long as I could still have these on my feet. I AM THAT SICK.

Next up? You’ll be able to buy a wife at Amazon.com. Buy a wife and an engagement ring, get free shipping and gift wrap!

So, if that isn’t a shameless plug for Amazon.com, I don’t know what is. However, I would not have discovered the engagement rings on amazon.com if not for this blog entry as referenced in this blog entry as referenced in one of my favorite blogs, The Simple Dollar. Hat tip that!

*Note: depending on who your girlfriend is, and how attached she is to brand names and the “stigma” that comes from buying things “on the cheap”, you might want to avoid mentioning amazon.com until after you have the wedding band firmly on that finger. However, if she is anything like me (German to a fault, ipso facto opposed to spending money altogether), that’s a surefire way to get her to say yes AND in the sack. I would be all “YOU SAVED FOUR THOUSAND BUCKS?!?! KICK ASS! LETS GO OPEN A RothIRA, BABY!” Or something equally nerdy and foreward-thinking. You may have noticed that I am a peculiar 21 year old.

Bear? I love you. And this was not a shameless hint at all.