grate.
November 23, 2011, 9:03 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

This is the eve of being grateful and thankful, and this year I am struggling to be either of those things at all, what with the terrible awful.

But if Catholic guilt has taught me anything, I know that when I am feeling the least thankful and grateful, that’s when I need to be the most. Because I still have things for which to thank God, luck, my family and my friends.

And if it’s cheesy, I don’t care. I need to say it more now than ever before, because I need to remind myself of it the most right now, to get me through whatever is coming next.

1. I am first and foremost thankful for my family. We might be small, and we might be spread all over, and we might be loud, and we might have a tough time showing affection, but when things get rough and scary, we throw all the love and prayers and hope and kindness and comfort food we can find at each other. Things are hard right now. But without these people and all the love? It would be so much harder, for D, and for every one of us who love her. I wish that were enough. I hope it is.

2. In a close second, I am thankful for my friends. My kind, supportive, loving, helpful, funny, smart, beautiful, wonderful friends. We don’t have to see each other all the time, talk all the time (although sometimes we do), or even like each other all the time. I love that I’ve surrounded myself with a group of women (and men, I guess) from elementary school all the way to this year who get me in such a wonderful way. I’m honored that they consider me a friend. And let me drink wine with them. I’m glad I don’t waste time or energy on anyone but Good People. 

Everything else is in no particular order.

3. I am thankful for my pets. Not even my family and my friends give me that level of blatant, unconditional adoration. Well, the cat doesn’t, I guess. But she’s so pretty, I guess it’s okay. They’re all hilarious and loving and cuddly. Okay, again, Dora isn’t cuddly except when she wants to be. But still.

4. I am thankful for the opportunities I have. I am so happy doing what I’m doing. I’m so happy with my research, my classes, and what is coming next. Yes, it stresses me out, scares me, and is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But the scariest things are the ones you have to do the most. 

5. I am thankful for central heat. I just am. It’s awesome. 

6. I am thankful for how well I sleep. Seriously, you guys who have a hard time sleeping because of insomnia, or children, or uncomfortable beds, I really and truly do not understand how you get through the day. Sleep is awesome. 

7. I am grateful for my food. Not my ‘diet’ or any of that junk. I really love the food I eat most of the time. I love that I make most of it myself. It makes me feel strong, independent and well fed. 

8. I am grateful for my faith, my God. You don’t have to agree with me. I’m grateful for what I have, because I don’t know how much I would be capable of without it. If that makes me weak, so be it. I am weak, but I am strong with God.

9. I am grateful for the people, situations and things that piss me off, upset me, challenge me and even hurt me. When I have to deal with something or someone difficult, I learn something about myself. I have a long way to go before I’m the person my dogs think I am, and the hard stuff is the crucible to get there. This, at least, is what I tell myself in the moment. (My cat knows exactly what kind of person I am, and she is rightly disdainful)

10. I am grateful for my husband. He is the best person I have ever met. I want to be him when I grow up, even when he makes me spitting mad. Of everything I have ever been given, he is the greatest blessing I will ever have. Of that I am certain. 

So! Now that I’ve made you nauseous with my sap, what are you thankful for? Family, friends, indoor plumbing, quality hair products? Tell me! I’m likely grateful for them as well, and need to be reminded. 

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