Signs of Pregnancy (Spoiler alert: NOT PREGNANT)
September 26, 2011, 9:31 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

If you follow me on the twitter, you’ll know that I have major (and irrational) baby fever.

I want a baby.

Except that I don’t actually want a baby at all! The idea of doing anything to get pregnant on purpose makes me break out in hives. Scares the crap out of me. NOT READY. Not even remotely ready. I’m only 25! I’m still in school! I LIKE SLEEP!

And yet, my hormones are all BABYBABYBABYBABY.

It’s sort of not really fair at all.

I haven’t hidden the crazy contradictory urges from the twitter at all. As a result, I get harassed a lot about whether or not I’m pregnant. It doesn’t seem to matter WHAT I say, someone takes it as a sign that I’m pregnant. Someone had that as the first sign that they were pregnant.

“I have heartburn!” “ARE YOU PREGNANT?!”

“The dogs won’t leave me alone! Stop sniffing me!” “PREGNANT?!”

“I’m so tired!” “You must be pregnant! That happened to me when I was pregnant!”

You guys. I AM NOT PREGNANT. Unless something really startling happens, it’s not going to happen any time soon, either. (Watch it. Now that I’ve said that on The Internet, I’ve jinxed myself, and I’m going to get pregnant tonight. Despite not doing anything that could result in me getting pregnant.)

Sometimes the dogs sniff me because I was at someone else’s house and I smell interesting, like cats and small children. Sometimes I’m just TIRED. Sometimes, I make enchiladas and drink a lot of wine. $5 says that’s the cause of the heartburn, NOT PREGNANCY.

And I can’t help but think that if all of these (and then some) are signs that someone was pregnant, all of these ‘signs of pregnancy’ are full of crap.

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Remember that time I got married?
September 17, 2011, 7:42 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Yea.

I guess I was planning on writing a post about the wedding, and then life happened, and I forgot I had a blog, and now here I am. A little over a month  before my first anniversary.

No time like the present! It’s about time I get back into blogging. If I can run 5k (I RAN 5K AND I DIDN’T DIE), then I can start blogging more regularly. No really! I can!

So. My wedding.

We decided to keep it traditional. We’re Catholic, and so we had a full Catholic mass at the church we belong to in Crafton. We’re fairly traditional people. Having a church wedding with a full dinner reception with our families and friends was important. I don’t know why I feel obligated to defend that, but I do.

Rehearsal Dinner

The week before the wedding was busy and stressful. I had 2 midterms, including a programming midterm, plus a baptism, and a 24 hour stomach bug. It was stressful. Luckily, my mother spent the week out here to help. That Friday, I skipped all of the things I was supposed to attend and declared myself in wedding mode. I retrieved my maid of honor, a toasted almond torte from Prantl’s downtown, and headed to the reception hall (which I will not name for a variety of reasons) to help set things up. My soon to be inlaws, sister in law, aunt/uncle in law, and fiance were there already, plating about 6 million cookies that had been baked by relatives. If you are going to marry anyone, I recommend marrying into Kevin’s family, if only because they really know how to put together a cookie table. It was gorgeous.

Maid of honor had a killer cold, so she wasn’t allowed anywhere near the cookies. We put together centerpieces instead:¬†

(centerpiece example in my dining room).

I don’t clearly remember setting up the reception, other than having stern words with the idiot event planner (primary reason why I won’t name the facility) about where all the tables were and why everything wasn’t set up, and how did he expect me to set up in 4 hours if he didn’t make sure his part was done?!

After we were done, Kevin and his family went off to the hotel they were all going to stay at the night before the wedding. Maid of honor, mom and I returned to my house to get ready for the rehearsal. My mom took all of our things to the bed and breakfast in the north side where my family and I were spending the weekend (The Priory on the North side, for those keeping score at home. They were wonderful.). My mom got hopelessly lost near the stadiums and called me in an absolute panic, demanding that I tell her where she was and how to get out of there, while also refusing to stop so I could figure out where she was on Google maps. Fun!

We made it to the rehearsal, 5 minutes late. And then this happened:

Blame my mother and aunts for the get up. Apparently Fr. Walt asked Kevin if he really wanted to marry someone wearing that.

We made it through the rehearsal with Mrs. Lieb ordering us around while not hearing a damn thing we said, as she was deaf as a post. Somehow I ended up agreeing to kneel the entire way through the wedding.

After the rehearsal came the rehearsal dinner. There was pasta and toasted almond torte. Kevin and I exchanged wedding gifts:

This is the best picture I can find of that. I am admiring the amber with a spider in it that Kevin gave to me. I know that’s sort of a bizarre wedding gift, but it’s something I’ve wanted for years, which makes it the perfect wedding gift. I got him a gun. Because nothing says “I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you” like a weapon. That’s my brother creeping on the side. He was very excited about the spider. And the gun.

We ate, we drank, we shared gifts, we made his mother cry.

The bridal party returned to the Priory, and the groom’s family returned to the hotel. Maid of honor went to sleep due to her cold, and I stayed up for a few hours drinking with my brother in the Priory’s parlor.

Wedding Day

Amazingly, I slept. I have no idea how that happened. Naturally, I woke up as early as possible. I tried to eat breakfast, but that was sort of a futile effort.

Next, we got our hairs did.

What? Isn’t that the ideal wedding hairstyle?

Alright, here you go:

With makeup:

Maid of honor:

Bridesmaid:

Mama:

Somewhere in there Kevin and I decided that we weren’t going to recite our vows. I don’t know where I came up with the foolish idea that we could do that.

After we were all glitzed up, we returned to the Priory so I could confront this:

Everyone else was allowed to get dressed before lunch. I shoved some food down my throat, barely, and waited for my assistants to finish so I could get into the dress. Around this time we realized that there were no suspenders with my father’s tux. This will have an impact on later events.

The photographer arrived. I got into my dress and lost feeling in my feet. It was okay though, because there were buttons down the back of my dress, and that’s awesome.

Last minute touch ups, and then it was go time.

Time for family pictures. My dad cried.

Nana:

She’s 83 for the record. The day before our wedding, she and my pop-pop celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. Not bad, eh?

Girls:

Boys:

After pictures were done, we jumped in some limos and headed to the church. I snuck in the back of the church as everyone else was arriving. We didn’t get there until 15 minutes before the wedding. So what? My close friend from home was singing when I got there. She sings like an angel. My stomach felt like it was going to jump out of my body and land at my feet. It didn’t.

Then I was upstairs, and Mrs. Lieb was telling me we were starting. The girls went down the aisle. No one tripped and fell! I was so proud. The kids had a bit of a mishap: the twins weren’t totally thrilled with walking down the aisle. One of them escaped halfway down, and ran back up the aisle. Ah well. That’s what you get when you have 4 year olds for ring bearers.

And then:

My dad sort of lost his cool. He was trying so hard not to cry that he started sprinting down the aisle. I whispered for him to slow it up, and he almost stopped altogether. When we got to the end of the aisle, he forgot what he was supposed to do, and Kevin and I whispered him through the passing off my hand, etc.

I was heading to this:

The groom is the one on the right. For a moment I was concerned I was marrying the best man. I don’t know how Kevin ended up on the correct side.

The wedding started. I knelt through most of it, facing away from the congregation.

This is a good thing for a few reasons.

1. My father’s pants fell down.

2. A lot of people were annoyed, restless, chatting, and texting because it was such a ‘long’ full mass wedding. (it only lasted 40 minutes, 10 minutes shorter than one of the whiners’ non-full mass wedding. Just saying. Not bitter or anything).

Yes, my father’s pants fell down. Remember when I said there were no suspenders with his tux? Kevin swore to me that there would be. My dad prefers his pants on the big side and relies on suspenders to keep them, well, suspended. The fact that he got me down the aisle with his pants UP is truly a miracle, one for which I thank God. Truly. Most people didn’t notice, which is good. But. That happened.

It flew by. Kevin’s sisters read, there was the Gospel and a short homily, and then we said “I do”, said our vows, and Father said we were so blessed that our vocations were to love one another. I know I feel blessed.

We kissed.

It was sort of awkward.

And then we were married!

That’s todd’s face right there. He has awesome glasses.

A few more church photos:

Well, I think that’s enough for tonight. Let’s leave the reception for another post. That will force me to, you know, blog at least one more time.

For the record, these photos come from a mix of sources. Some I swiped from Facebook friends who posted them, some were from my family, and the decent ones were from the photographer.

P.S. Have I told you how happy I am? I would say that October 23, 2010 was the happiest day of my life, and it was pretty damn happy, but it was also really stressful. The best part has been the 11 months since. If what they say is true, that the first year is the hardest, then damn. We’re going to have an easy marriage.