How to get your boyfriend to propose to you
April 1, 2008, 6:44 pm
Filed under: daily | Tags:

1. Kick him in the bits and say “sh*t or get off the pot!”

2. Stop taking your birth control and oops! Get pregnant (not recommended).

3. Have car problems and then refuse to allow said boyfriend to help you buy a new car. Preferably cry. (This worked for my mom and her sister).

4. Dangle a doggie!

Conversation between Bear and I the other night:

Bear: Honey, I really want to get a dog in the next year or so, so I can take him hunting, and have someone to cuddle with out in the woods.

Katrina: Okk… (thinking: cuddling with a dog in the woods? Really?)

Bear: It’s just something that I really want. I miss having a dog around.

Katrina: Remember, we can have a pet, but it’s $30 a month in pet rent. That’s a lot of money.

Bear: A month?

Katrina: A month.

(They consult the lease. Katrina is correct, as per usual.)

Bear, crestfallen: Oh.

Katrina: Well think about it this way. We can’t have a dog until we buy a house. We can’t buy a house until we’re married. So, we can’t have a dog until we’re married. The earlier you propose to me, the sooner you get a dog. Just a thought…

(The grinding of gears in Bear’s head echoes around the bathroom.)

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